by Melanie Barrett

Did you as a young infant and completely involved in life as it flowed say “I want to travel the world!”…”I’m not fulfilled!”…”I’m living the wrong life!”…”I need to be fixed because I’m broken”, ”There must be more to life than this!”…”I’m not kind and giving enough”….”Life is too hard”…”I should not be sick – I’ve done something to create this!”?. Were the natural flow and impulses of life frozen over time in to energetic mantras of ‘not enoughness’? Was there a troubled YOU inside there with heavy burdensome ideas and projections about this great mystery we call life?

I will take a punt and say No. Life was happening to and for itself and you had not yet formed an attachment to the voice of the separate, detached judge and commentator of it. Your head was probably not full of ideas of what the perfect life ‘should’ look like (this came later). Your head was not full of ideas of what would, could or should make you happier. Your head was not full of ideas of how people or friends or your body and mind should be or how life should look to bring ‘your’ personal happiness…or at least an end to this chronic sense of insufficiency and personal inefficacy

Life lived you.

You had no expectation or even a curiosity that it should or even coud be any different than it appeared. This is heaven….Life without an idea and energetic sensation of a separate YOU living ‘it’.

As we get older, especially in the West, there seems to be more choice and with that comes the idea that we have more personal responsibility for those abundant choices.With the idea of infinite choices also comes the idea that you may not be making the best choice in any given moment. This burden becomes heavier and more confusing as we get older. As if you have an alotted amount of time to become COMPLETELY fulfilled, so you’d better not fluff it up! You must make the highest and best choice NOW…You only get one shot (you think)…Soooo much pressure!…Too much.

So maybe to cope with the stress we drink copious amounts of alcohol, consume drugs, eat copious amounts of food, buy copious amounts of ‘thngs’. Maybe we run around frantically trying to dissolve this imagined sense of separation from this moment. We are frantically trying to find THIS MOMENT…THIS PEACE…THIS LOVE….HERE…the love that never left us. We just believed ourselves to be a solid, stagnant fixed identity, a person… and became encapsulated within our personal ideas and projections and we drifted into a la la land of ‘What ifs, buts, would, shoulds, coulds and maybe’s”.

This is the human condition. The idea that you are a separate, autonomous being, that life is your responsibility to get ‘right’. All the time that you think you are personally ‘doing’ life then you are doomed for personal successes and failures. That is the price to be paid for personhood, for duality.

The human psyche is an energetic construct creating the impression that the human is a separate autonomous entity within this vast, boundless freedom. The young child hasn’t yet purchased this illusion. The young child is being lived by life. It is still existing as freedom.The young child isn’t ‘trying’ to live life or manoeuvre life into its own best vantage point.

The child is fully absorbed within the great mystery as it unfolds. It IS the Great mystery.The child is not waiting for anything to appear as anything in particular, or hoping for anything in particular, it is fully and completely HERE as THIS, however THIS (LIFE) appears. The child is ‘in love’ with life; with the flow. The child expresses naturally as it is and feels; energy is continually flowing, it is free and expansive.

The separate sense of a self seems to have been formed through the sucking in; holding on to thoughts and feelings and claiming them as mine. If they belong to ‘me’ I must fix them, cleanse them, heal them, appease them, make them right somehow. The child seemingly allows everything to keep on flowing through….an empty vessel.

The entire subconscious energetic construct (of a separate person) seems to consist of thoughts and feelings of lack in any given moment and thoughts and impulses that try to negotiate with or appease the inherent sense of lack. All the while life is simply expressing itself as it will….perfect unfolding of mystery. This is how it felt as a child. Even in its darker moments. It was life and it was just being life and it was COMPLETELY allowed.

The separate sense of self is simply competing, opposing forces of energy in perpetual motion. The sense of lack or fulfilment at any given moment simply depends upon which energetic force is focused upon and nurtured. You are neither the sense of lack (shame, pain, fear, guilt) or the force that tries to over compensate for them to alleviate them. I would say this one ‘trying’ to get life ‘right’ or ‘do’ life ‘right’ is ego. There is nothing wrong with anything that appears within your reality. It is all God expressing itself as ife.

You are not a separate ‘thing’ on a trajectory towards being a more fulfilled or complete or better or happier ‘thing’. You are life. There is only life and paradoxically there is an appearance of an evolving human Being within it! but that evolving human is simply an appearance within you as Everything (and No thing). Just like ‘Hey Google’ or siri!. Information is entered through genetics and up to date conditioning but the responses and impulses and movements from the entity do not consitute a separate person.

Your freedom is ALWAYS right here in this moment. It is not even ‘your’ freedom. This…here…now is simply freedom. How could it be any other way?. How could freedom or contentment be in the resolution of a past mistake; in the rumination that may fix or heal it so that you no longer feel contracted?!!!…or in that perfect future that you’ll arrive at when all your ducks are in a perfect little row?!!….when you no longer have fear or anxiety or uncertainty.

Life is uncertainty.

That is its inherent mystery and beauty.

The not knowing how it will unfold….Magical mystery….

The human wants safety and certainty in the ‘flow’. Is there safety and certainty within a flowing river? absolutely not if you think you are separate and struggling against it. But when you know you are the river itself you’ll know you are always carried in its effortless flow towards the ocean. It will traverse boulders and rocks as it takes its’ natural course. Initially they will seem to be insurmountable obstacles but over time the boulders will be smoothed and shrunk and finally dissolved back in to the river.

If there is fear in the flow….there is fear, if there is pain there is pain, if there is jealousy there is jealousy, if there is rage there is rage, if there is depression there is depression, if there is confusion there is confusion. Anything can appear. It is all held within and as life or God or eternity….within the flowing river. All that comes…goes.

Freedom, alignment, peace, love is ALWAYS in THIS…right here…right now. Exactly as it flows.There is nowhere else….EVER!! THIS is the journey AND the Great destination simultaneously. Such a Divine paradox.

It’s THIS and reality/life flows naturally from…within… and as this. This is how the child lives. The child carries no separate idea that ‘it’ is travelling separately through time and space on some trajectory towards a ‘better’ now; or a preferred version of ‘What is’.

Reality check folks – You’ll NEVER ‘get there’ ‘You’ and ‘There’ do not exist separately!!!…A better version of NOW or ‘What is’ does not exist. How could it?!!. IT IS THIS – PRECISELY AND EXACTLY AS IT APPEARS!!!!….Eternally THIS…Always THIS!…and as the river enters the ocean – Where is the river now?!! At which point do we stop calling it the river and start calling it the ocean? Is there a precise cut off point? and as the ocean rises and becomes clouds where is that cut off point between ocean and cloud? at which precise point does it transform from being ocean water to being a cloud formation? or is it all the same Being energy appearing as different formations of energy?

Where is the cut off point between YOU and what you observe? or is it Being simply being a YOU and being what you seemingly observe!!…you and apparent other….same atoms (Love) – varying frequencies (Expression).

Simply One infinite Love expressing itself in myriad, diverse finite forms.

Perhaps there is ony One name for EVERYTHING – energy appearing to be in motion – and perhaps that name is God.

There is only ever RIGHT NOW….HERE…You won’t be better or more improved or happier ‘when……….’ (your body is thinner, you have won the lottery, you’ve seen Italy, you own the biggest house in the street , you’ve cleansed your karma, you are healed, you have all the answers to your suffering, your mind has no thoughts, you’ve created world peace, you’ve reached enlightenment etc….etc…etc….)

THIS…my dear friends…IS IT!!!!!…IT IS ALWAYS THIS…THIS…THIS…THIS…HOWEVER “THIS” APPEARS – IS IT!!!! You’ve arrived…You’re HERE!!!…..

LIFE……..Eternal…boundless…formless Love appearing to be in perpetual motion as separate ‘somethings’…….